Thursday, April 22, 2010

I LIE!!!

Imagine this scene:

You walk into the DMV (that's Department of Motor Vehicles) to get your Driver's License. The workers there are always so completely pleasant and helpful, so they always ask you if you need to update any of your personal information. Well, I normally say NO, but the last time I went for my license I decided to get a bit closer to the truth and add 10 pounds to my previously lied about weight. I told the guy to add 10 pounds.

This was maybe a year ago.

Now, keep in mind that even with adding the 10 pounds I was still lying my ass off. I told him that I weighed 230. Ha ha ha. I'm sure he was thinking "Um, SURE you do lady". But, he added the 10 pounds and that was that.

Well, today I realized that I am only 6 pounds from my lied about weight on my Driver's License. This only made one thought pop into my devious head....

It's time to get a new license!

I'm thinking I'll kick it down to 190. But then I heard that Illinois now charges $25 or $30 for a replacement and I hardly think it's worth $1 per pound to lie a little more. I did draw the line in the sand with my own self though and decided that once I hit 199 I'm getting a new Driver's License.

And I'm gonna lie.

Oh yeah....I'm gonna lie yet again. I'm thinking when I'm actually at 199 that I'll tell the guy 170. That seems a reasonable lie...hell, I was shaving more than 30 pounds off before, so why not do it again! Plus, the way I see it is that it's another goal to shoot for...gotta get to that Driver's License weight so that I can go get it replaced yet again.

So, there you have it, blog readers. I LIE at the DMV about my weight. But, in 6 pounds I will no longer be a Driver's License weight liar!

3 comments:

Karlie said...

Hahah..I love the fact you will STILL lie! That's fabulous. I had to get a new one and I was a good 40 pounds up from the weight listed. And this was the first time someone actually asked me, so has your weight changed? (wanted to smack him) so I said yeah (and admitted to 30 of the 40 pounds.) Now I'm under that by almost 10 but I want to get back to the 'original lie' weight before I get a new one...heh..good luck!

Terry said...

You made me laugh!! Keep up the good work.

Eternal Lizdom said...

How much loss total now, Lori?

I have no clue what weight I said on my license... But I'm pretty sure I haven't gotten down to whatever I said it was.

Lying at the DMV shouldn't be a big deal... if our actual weight mattered, they'd *gulp* make us weigh in!! *shudder*