Saturday, May 29, 2010

out of my element

I packed up the kids and the dog Thursday to head to my Dad's for the long weekend. We hadn't been up here for a visit in a while so off we went.

I realized suddenly...this is the first time since starting my "Fit by Forty" adventure that I'd be out of my element! No "normal" gym....did I mention no gym?

So, here's what I have's hard to be out of your element! Or it is for me anyway. No gym...OK, well I can be pretty physical here at Dad's right? Well, kinda.

I've been going up and down the hill to his beach...I cleaned up the driftwood on his beach and made a couple of big burn piles...I've been riding his stationary bike (5 miles, 8 miles, and 8 miles). But, guess what...that's still not enough! Because, I'm eating a bit crazy.

I'm trying to make decent choices....salads with no dressing....grilled chicken...but seriously, it's HARD when you're eating at local places that have no website, let alone a clue what "nutritional information menus" even are!

But, I'm doing what I can and trying to make really good choices. This is an emotional trip for several reasons, so to top off being out of my element, I want to EAT like mad because of the stress. I'm doing what I can. I'm chewing the HELL out of gum! I've done about everything I can imagine outside for him. I even took my 2 kids on a paddle boat ride this evening.

I guess the point (for me, anyway) is to try and do the best I can while I'm out of my element. Try to get exercise, try to make healthy eating choices, and then be prepared to work like hell when I get home to undo any damage I've done this weekend.

If anyone has any "out of your element" tips, do share!

Monday, May 17, 2010

260's to 250's....250's to 240's....240's to 230's...

And finally, from the 230's into the 220's! Oh yeah, I'm in the 220's baby...and you know what that makes me think? Well, it makes me think that the 2-teens aren't too far off, which means that UNDER 200 is in sight.

In January when I started this journey at 265, under 200 wasn't even on my radar. Of course it's something I hoped to get to.... the end of the year or something...

But now, here I am. 29 pounds, I'm under 200 baby, and that thought keeps me going.

That's really the key to making a long term change, right...finding that thing that keeps you going. I've had many inspirations since January, but just how great I am feeling and looking is really what's driving me...that and seeing that yes, I CAN do it! I take a short-term goal approach to my weight loss. I literally set my first goal at "Get into the 250's". Once I got into the 250's, my goal was to get into the 240's and so on. I'm not so good at long-term goals! I know this about myself, so therefore I set myself up for success by setting goals that I know are achievable. If it's too far out of reach I am so likely to give up.

Another thing that is motivating me to keep chugging along right now is clothing. I finally broke down and had to go buy some new clothes. I ended up in a 16W pant/shorts. The stuff in my closet was 22/24W, 20W, and some 18W. Holy moly....16W. I think I wore 18W's when we got married 15 years ago, so I haven't worn a 16W in over 15 years. HOLY MOLY...

I am close to ditching the "Women's" section of the clothing stores! Once I can move from a 16W to a regular 16 Misses, I am out of the "Women's" section.

That is motivating me right now.

When it all comes down to it though, motivation isn't a one-size-fits-all thing. What motivates me may have the opposite effect on a friend and vice versa. My experience in getting "Fit By Forty" has shown me a couple of things about successful weight loss. First of all, you have to get to a place where you firmly believe that YOU DESERVE a healthier life. Once you get there you will find the time to get that exercise in. You will skip the bag of chips for a healthier choice. But you have to believe that YOU DESERVE it. Also, my journey has shown me that motivation is key. You have to find the motivating factor for YOU. Your spouse or workout buddy might have totally different things that motivate them. What you have to focus on is what motivates YOU and then use that to help you get through tough times. For example, I LOVE movie theater popcorn. Really. Love. It. I cannot eat one handful and I know this. On date night my hubby got popcorn and I'm OK with that. I can resist, right? As I sat there in the dark theater obsessing about having just ONE handful I thought to myself...WHY? Why even take that one handful, which will make you want to down the entire bag? WHY do that when you've worked SO hard to get from 265 to finally in the 220's? Does that popcorn really taste THAT good to risk undoing everything that you've worked so hard to achieve?

NO...that is what I realized. No, popcorn does NOT taste that good. But I knew that if I started, it wasn't going to be pretty. I was going to eat it. So I resisted because I deserve to be healthier, and I have worked hard. I deserve to NOT have it WAYYYYYYY more than I deserve to self sabotage.

So I skipped it, and I left the movie that night feeling pretty pleased with myself for resisting the urge and being stronger than that bag of popcorn!

Find your motivation and dig way down in there and realize that YOU DESERVE health. You deserve to have the energy and stamina to enjoy your life.

Monday, May 10, 2010

Out With The Old....

The past week or so has been really "telling" of my weight loss thus far. It's kinda funny how we see ourselves as the old heavier person, no matter how much we lose. Thirty plus pounds is a lot of weight, so when I got sick of being able to take my jeans off without unbuttoning or unzipping them I figured it was time to do a little shopping. My initial thought was no new clothes until I hit my goal weight, but this is unrealistic for several reasons.

First of all, I can't be walking around with my pants on the ground. Even though it's a popular song, it's not a popular sight for my friends, family, and perfect strangers. Also, since I don't really know WHAT my goal weight is, how do I measure when I'm there? So, it was time to grab the purse and head out for some new clothes.

I have a pair of jeans that my friend Tracy gave me while she was melting away. These jeans are 18's. Most of the pants in my closet are 22/24's. Well, just for grins I tried on those 18 jeans last week and do you know what? They fit. And not in a "lay-on-the-bed-and-don't-breathe" kinda way either. I wore 'em all night and a few hours after putting them on I found myself pulling them up. Well....maybe it was time to get a few new pants.

So off I went. Here's the mentality I went on my quest with...I will get some new pants, capris, and shorts for the summer. I will try on 16's and even though I'm sure they're going to be really tight, I'm going to buy those and let that tightness remind me that I'm still losing weight and I need to stay away from bad food! In the store I went...picking up some 16W's as I browsed around. This particular store has 2 sides...women's on one side...misses on the other. I've never been over to "the other side" as I had no need to see the smaller stuff.

I gathered a few things and proceeded to the dressing room. Here's where I really had to give myself a talking to. "Now is not the time to get frustrated and throw in the towel. The 16's are going to be tight, but that's what you're here for, so try 'em on, suck it up, and realize that you have to work for a few weeks but these clothes will be wearable soon enough." Or something like that, but that was the general gist of my conversation with myself.

I slipped that first pair of shorts on and amazingly enough, they zipped and buttoned without the jaws of life having to be called in. Hmmmm....interesting. So, I proceeded to shop and gather some more things. I am now shopping for shirts on the MISSES side, as the smallest size on the women's side is just too big. Zoweeee Mama!

Now, on to tonight. My closet is big. It is really big. And really FULL. Full of clothes. Big clothes. Really full of big clothes.

Mentally I know that I have to get rid of them...I do not need the crutch. I don't need them in case I fail. Failure is simply not an option anymore. Failure is going to kill me and I want to live.

Tonight was the night. I'm not sure why I was inspired to start sorting through, but I was, so I went with it. I took out pants and the occasional skirt. I sorted them into two piles...18/20's and 22/24's. The larger size is the larger pile. Every once in a while I'd hold up a pair of the 22/24 pants....they looked really big, but on the other hand, they looked like they'd still fit. Hell, I even pulled a pair on to make sure there hadn't been some crazy error of physics and I can actually still wear a 22/24. But, 'tis not to be...the 22/24's are WAYYYYYYYY too big, so into the pile they went.

Once I had gotten the pants out of one section of my closet I took the piles to the guest bedroom and stacked the piles. I think I'll try craigslist first and see if I can get some cash out of them. Many of them have tags still on them. Most are in really good condition, and the few really worn jeans went into the trash instead of the sell/give-away pile.

Wow...22/24. How did that happen? The sad thing is that when I look at my 16 body I don't see much difference. I still see that really overweight woman that's been staring back at me for so very long. I'm sure I'll start to get used to the 16 Lori in time. For now I'm going to focus on ridding my closet (and my life) of these clothes and focus on the next 10 pounds. I'm glad that I can get the clothes out and maybe even have a little extra cash for my next shopping trip.

My next shopping trip will come when I can transition from 16Women's to a regular 16. At that point I will no longer be shopping in the women's section...I will be Misses all the way! I bought a pair of 16 jeans to use as a monthly gauge. I will try those babies on the first of every month to see my progress towards the misses department. In the meantime I'm going to try and get a little more used to my smaller body, and try to make it a little smaller as I go!