Remembering….

 

I ran in a fundraising 5K here over the weekend.  It was the first time in probably a month that I had gotten an outdoor run in early in the day.  After the race I had a busy day, so I mentally planned the day out while I was on my way to get the kiddos from my DH. 

The kids and I came home so that I could get cleaned up and then out we went…Subway for lunch and then groceries.  Back home to prep dinner for that evening, when we had friends and 3 kiddos join us for a fun night.  All day I was bopping around getting the house picked up and the food ready.

About 5 pm I sat down to just chill for about 30 minutes before the hubby got home and the evening started up again.  In those 30 minutes I thought about how great I had felt ALL day.  I had lots of energy…I got a lot accomplished.

Then I remembered the last time I had really felt great all day…it was about a month earlier when I was in California.  I had taken a 4 mile run outside on a beautiful day.  The rest of the day I was energized and happy. 

Perhaps there is something to this!  I decided that I would begin an experiment of sorts.  One of the things I want to do is get myself to the point that I can RUN a 5K.  By that I mean RUN the entire time…no walking recovery breaks.  So, I got the Couch to 5K (C25K) information out and set a plan.  I will get up on Monday, Wednesday, and Friday and do a C25K workout.  We will see if those early morning workouts help to keep me energized throughout the day.

It’s funny how easy we forget really.  I have forgotten how good, healthy food and exercise really make me feel so much better.  I feel strong, fit and empowered.  When I eat junk and don’t exercise enough I feel horrible and my mood takes a nose-dive. 

Today I did day 1 of week 2 for C25K.  I am skipping week 1 as I felt like I was capable of skipping that one.  I am running faster during the running times than I normally would run.  I am hopeful that I can train my mind and body to be able to run faster for a longer amount of time.

When you’re feeling down look back to the times you felt better and evaluate how you can make changes TODAY to get those great feelings back.

Lori

Struggle

Oh, where do I begin? Maybe it began around Christmas time when tempting treats were all around and I said "sure" a few too many times. Or maybe it began at my one year "anniversary" when I looked at all I had accomplished in a year and thought that the hard work was now over. Or maybe ..... oh, hell, let's face it. I don't know when it began, but I have been STRUGGLING now for a LONG time.

Thursday was a really awful day for me. I tried to run outside on Wednesday and had the most horrible run I have EVER had. AWFUL. I had to turn back and come home. Then Thursday when I worked with the trainer I struggled again....pain....aches....being totally winded at what is normally a warm up walk.

And you know what, I was so ready to throw in the towel. I was ready to say forget it...this weight loss thing is too hard and I just can't do it anymore.

But I didn't. I took some of the trainer's "maybe you should try...." and did them. I added more fresh fruit into my diet. Fruit = natural sugar = energy. I took a multi-vitamin with iron. I took a magnesium. I ate lean red meat last night and tossed a handfull of fresh spinach into my salad.

Today...well, today I honestly feel better. I feel more energized. I walked 3 miles, and I felt good. I didn't hurt....I didn't struggle. I started at 3.5 mph, which is a warm up for me and after a while I bumped it up. I didn't go higher than 3.7 because I don't want to go crazy after feeling SO badly. After the 3 miles I did some of the arm exercised on the weight machine and then some kettlebell exercises.

And while I did the walking and weight work, I watched the Biggest Loser. I saw how much those people have struggled and how they've worked SO HARD.....which made me think of how hard I have worked....and how hard I CAN work.

Now, I hate to get on here and type out another "I'm back in the game" blog post, because I've hammered out several of those since January. But I am strong and I can work hard. Food is not the reward for me....feeling strong and healthy and FIT is a much better feeling than ANY FOOD has ever given me. I have no problems with the exercise side of the weight loss equation. I can work out...that does not scare me. But the food side....oh that's the killer for me.

I must stop looking at food as a REWARD, or something that I deserve. I deserve to feel and look great a lot more than I deserve the quick high and lower low that comes from eating unhealthy. Yes, I can have things occasionally that might not be the best choice. They are not gone from my life forever, but I OWE IT TO MYSELF to make healthy choices for myself most of the time.

From where I'm sitting right now (mentally and physically) it seems like the hardest part of struggle (for me) is getting out of that pattern. I need the scale to start moving DOWN on a consistent basis. One week of downward movement is not sufficient. I need to see a pound loss (OR MORE) each week. I cannot keep see-sawing up and down. I need to stop struggling and start thriving again.

If you're in a bad spot with your weight loss, don't give up. It's hard...it honestly is, but remember all of the hard work that you've put in thus far and know that YOU are stronger than any urge to eat unhealthy or skip a workout. Look at yourself and recognize that you DESERVE a healthy life!

Good luck....

Update…back on the wagon

 

Well, I have been back to using my Body Bugg to not only track calories OUT (that’s the easy part for me), but also to track calories IN.  Oh, how I hate those calories IN!

The eating is my nemesis.  I can exercise ‘til the cows come home, but the bad eating is so very hard of a habit to break. 

Now, having said that, let me just say that I have NOT been 100% “good” since starting my new Body Bugg program.  Here’s the low down of where I am.  I started the new program with a weight of 210.  My calories IN target is 1950 and my calorie BURN target is 2600.  I have been pretty good about hitting the burn (and a few hundred over a couple of days per week). 

I haven’t logged everything I eat, which was my goal.  I logged MOST but did skip a few days. 

I am going back to a Thursday weigh in.  I did that all along my journey in 2010 and I think it worked for me because I was “starting over” on Thursday, which made me psychologically less likely to blow it on the weekend.  Strange, but it worked for me, whereas a Monday weekend would find me behaving really badly on the weekend.

Today I weighed in at 207.  Now, let me say that even though that is GOOD, I’m not really super happy about it because I lost those 3 pounds before.  BUT…I cannot beat myself up over it.  I need to think “woo-hoo….3 pounds….keep it up” and move on.  I’m trying.

My jeans are tight.  I have a fat roll around my waist that plops over my waistband and I really hate it.  But, I’m putting on those jeans for a few hours every day to remind myself what I’m working towards.  I felt so much better even at a few pounds under 200.  I need to get back to “one-derland” and then keep going.  I need to get some distance between myself and 200 pounds.  But for now, my focus is to get to 205.  At 205, I’m so much closer to under 200. 

In 2010 I had small, manageable goals, and I kept my focus.  I am having a really hard time doing that this year, and I’m not sure why.  But, I have had a decent 10 days or so, and so I am going to keep trying to get that full focus back and keep moving on.  I know that I can do this.  I know that I owe it to myself to feel better.  I want to do this and so I must remain focused.

I would be interested to hear from anyone out there how you stay away from bad food.  I have stopped before eating and thought “I am going to feel so bad, physically and mentally after I do this” and yet I still do it.  It’s like I have two little versions of myself dueling it out on my shoulder.  Sadly, the bad, who-cares version wins out more often that I’d like.

So that’s my week in a nutshell.  Hopefully your diet and exercise goals are going easier than mine, but just keep in mind that YOU can do it and you have to make that choice.  I will keep telling myself this as well!

Accountability

 

Yesterday I professed my day of change.  And so yesterday decided to toss me a nice curveball that may be a great excuse to delay that change.  My son came home sick from school…the school is seeing a flu epidemic of sorts.  LOVELY.

Well, I did not let that curveball deter me.  Oh, no…I strapped that body bugg back on my arm before falling into bed last night.  I measure out my multi grain cheerios and skim milk this morning.  I snuck off to Kroger while DH held down the sick fort and stocked up on Motrin, Tylenol, fresh fruit and veggies, and all of those healthier things that became a “staple” in our house in 2010.

Then I toyed with the idea of running through to grab an easy lunch, but holding true to my goals….I came home.  Oh yes, I came home, put those groceries away, and then made myself a filling low calorie lunch. 

And that felt like a small victory!

So then I walked/jogged on the treadmill while watching last week’s BLoser episode.  One of the things Rulan said really hit home with me.  To paraphrase it, basically he said that when we lose weight we gain back part of our life that we didn’t even realize we had lost.

When you lose weight you gain back a part of your life that you didn’t even realize you had lost.

Oh, how true is THAT!?!? 

And, in keeping with the whole accountability thing, I want you all to know that I logged in my breakfast, lunch, and post workout snack.  I have about 1100 calories left for today’s intake.  Not to shabby!  This easily allows me a reasonable snack between now and dinner and maybe even some fresh veggies after dinner. 

Pick the day, make the change.  You might find that in losing the weight you will gain back a piece of your life you hadn’t even realized you lost.

And here we go again….

 

On January 24th I blogged that I was starting over and ready to kick ass and take names.  Well, that didn’t work out so hot for me…once again….I failed.

Ugh….I hate that.  Really…I do.  But now here I am again, getting back on the horse.  February is a hard month for me but I’m sticking my chin up and moving forward.  Really…I am.  This time I really am.

So here’s where I sit…I have gained some weight.  I re-did my Body Bugg program today.  My new targets are in there and I’m not trying to go insane.  One pound a week is really manageable.  I think I’ll have weeks with more, but I’m going to look for one a week and go from there.  I need to hit one a week. 

Right now, I just need the scale to go DOWN instead of up, so I’m starting with one a week. 

Before when I started I preached about small, manageable goals.  I lost sight of that for myself, and I know that was kinda stupid of me.  But I’m back…I am going to set small, manageable goals for myself starting right now.

Goals:

1.  Eat at home more.  Fast food (even the healthier choices) are a fast way for me to start spinning out of control.  I need to reel it in a bit, so I will limit eating out to no more than 2 meals per week.

2.  Log everything that I eat.  Everything. 

3.  Hit my burn, step, and activity target every day.  Every Day.

4.  Drink 64 ounces of water daily.

5.  Get my weight back to the 20?’s.  That’s right….two hundred and some number less than 9.  (told ya I had been bad)

OK…there ya have it…there ya are.  I’m going to write those goals down and tape them to my monitor.  I’m also going to try and blog twice per week.  The blogging is an accountability for me and I need that right now.  Hold me accountable…ask me how I’m doing on my goals…call me out if I don’t come through!

I hate how I feel right now….seriously.  I hate that my jeans are tight and I hate that my gut is blobbing over the waistband of my jeans.  I feel ugh and I’m ready to get the ugh out and move forward.  I’m ready to feel feisty and thinner again and feel accomplished that I lost weight and kept it off…I’m ready to see the scale moving downward instead of creeping up.

So……with that…..Here I Go Again…..

When it’s just not working….

Sometimes I wonder what’s wrong with me. I mean, I know that the very definition of insanity is doing the same thing and expecting different results. So when my current Body Bugg program isn’t working so well for me after 20-some days, WHY did it take me until NOW to change it?

Simply, I don’t know, but the important thing is, I have changed it now.

Here’s where I was. I started things back up on January 2. I would go back to logging food and staying as close to that target as I can. I would also make darned sure that I hit my burn target every day. Well, the sad thing with weight loss is that 60 pounds ago, it was a lot easier to hit 3000 calories per day burned. As you lose weight it’s harder and harder to consistently maintain those high burns. Logic would tell me that as I lose and find it harder to hit the burn I would need to reduce my caloric intake to offset the lower burn.

Logic and I don’t always see eye to eye.

So I have been struggling. Now, I must throw in here that I’ve also had some hormonal issues. Not wanting to get too graphic on you, but I have been having problems and the weight loss was assumed to be a culprit in those problems. Apparently fat produces testosterone. So my body now has much less testosterone than it did before, so my hormones are all outta whack. That struggle plus the whole lower burn (even when I work my ass off) has made for a tough 20-something days.

But no more…today I finally pulled my head out of my behind and thought “OK….I have a hard time hitting the burn, which makes me mad, so I eat because I’m just pissed. Maybe I need to REDUCE the burn target and focus on the calories IN target to take some of the stress off”.

So I did….I re-did my program. I went down to 1.5 pounds a week loss. My calories in target is still 1800 but now instead of a burn target of 2800, my burn target is 2550. I KNOW I can hit 2550 in a day, even without a huge workout. So now I can focus on the real problem for me…the calories IN. I am no longer beating myself up on not hitting the burn….I should be able to hit that fairly easily. I am focusing on what’s going IN…that is my weakness.

Here’s another big revelation I had. I was struggling for the 1000 calorie a day deficit to lose 2 pounds a week. I didn’t want to lose less than that. Well, honey, it’s sure better to consistently lose 1.5 pounds per week than to lose 2, gain 3, lose 1, etc. So, I am shifting my thinking. I am focusing on controlling the difficult thing, which for me is the calories in. I will hit the burn target every day and be vigilant about logging after each meal so that I have a good grasp on where I’m at, calorie wise.

The lesson for all of us in this is that YOU have to know when something is NOT working for YOUR body. And when it’s not working, don’t be afraid to make the changes necessary for your success. I’m not sure why it took me 20-something days, but I’m here now, and I am confident that these new targets will help me get back on track and lose the 30 pounds that I so desperately want to lose to finish this journey.

~Lori~

A Year in Inches

One year ago today I walked into the gym with huge hopes and dreams.

OK...not really. My hope was actually quite small, but that just doesn't sound as good for a opening sentence! But, one year ago today I did walk into that gym for my first "fitness assessment" with the personal trainer, Becky.

During this "fitness assessment" (in where, I'm fairly certain it was discovered that I had NO fitness whatsoever...) my measurements were taken.

I am a 5' 6" female.

That has not changed in the year since I walked into the gym. However, the rest of the measurements have changed.....oh, how they have changed!

First of all, in this year I have lost a total of 70 pounds, getting to 195 at my lowest. Unfortunately, the past 6 weeks have not been good for me (eating-wise) so I have gained and lost and gained and lost. Today's measurement puts me at 205, which is still nothing to be unhappy about.

I have lost 60 pounds in those 12 months. If I take my (very tall) 4-year old daughter and a Kettle bell, that shows me what 60 pounds is. For Thanksgiving I usually cook a 20 pound turkey. If I tossed 3 of those into a laundry basket and carried it around, that is what I lost. Wow....that's heavy.

Today Becky was here for our weekly butt-kicking so I asked her to measure me again. This is the big news....this is pretty cool, if I do say so myself.

A year ago, my arms measured 15.5" inches around. That is the part of my upper arm that sits 5" above my elbow.

Today that measured 12.5". Three inches gone from my arm. Wow...that's pretty cool.

A year ago, my chest measured 47.5". Today that measured 40". That's a loss of 7.5". Not bad!

My waist, a year ago today was a shameful 46" around. That's just shy of 4 FEET around. Well, today, I am so happy to report that my waist is a wonderful 10" less, measuring at 36". WOW...36"! I am very happy about that!

And, finally, a year ago my hips were 46.5" around...baby got BACK! Well, today, I have less "back" measuring in at 39.5" for a loss of 7 inches.

That, folks, is a lot of inches.

3 left arm
3 right arm
7.5 chest
10 waist
7 hips
30.5

Thirty and a half inches.

Thirty and a half inches, adding up to 60 pounds of fat and flab gone from my body.

Twelve months ago I went into the gym wearing a 22/24 pant and a XXL shirt. Today I wear a size 14 pant and a Large shirt. I have even bought a few 12's and fit into them!

Today I am leaner, healthier, and more active. A year ago today I was embarrassed to walk into that gym, let alone let someone assess my fitness and take my measurements. Today I reminded Becky to bring a tape so she COULD do measurements!

A year ago I thought if I could just drop 10 or maybe even 15 pounds then I wouldn't be edging uncomfortably close to 300 pounds. Today I am focusing (once again) on getting below 200 and then getting a nice, comfortable distance from 200 so that if I bounce around 10 pounds, that bounce won't put me over that dreaded 200 mark!

Today I am not going to focus on the disappointment that I have in those 10 pounds I gained over the holidays, but I am going to focus on the 60 pounds that I did lose and the 30.5 inches that left on the same bus outta Lori-ville.

Weight loss is not going to be a temporary thing for me; the last 6 weeks taught me that so clearly. Old habits are easy to fall back into, so I will spend the rest of my life being vigilant and being mindful of what I am eating. I often razz my good friend, who on a "bad" day probably wears a 6. To me, she is TINY. But, to hear her complain about gaining 10 pounds and struggling to get those off so that her pants aren't' tight was just downright irritating. Being in that very spot right now is kinda humorous. And, I can see that for me, I need to get to that comfortable place. Maybe my comfortable place will be in the 170's....and if I get up into the 180's, I know that I've hit those dreaded 10 pounds and it's time to be very careful. Time to be very vigilant. Time to be very mindful. But that is OK, because 2010 was the really tough part for me....2010 was the year that I went from being out of control to grabbing the wheel of my own destiny again. I am now in charge, the weight is NOT. I am no longer looking down the barrel of "almost 300 pounds", which is exactly what 265 felt like to me. At that point I thought it's got to be 35 pounds DOWN instead of 35 pounds up because if not, there will be no turning back....I will feel totally lost.

So, here I am...205, and I'm OK with that. I could probably stay this weight forever and be OK with myself, but for ME, I need to get a comfortable distance from 200. For now I am going to celebrate what I accomplished over the last 12 months and focus on doing more great things in the next 12.

I hope that if even one person out there reads this and identifies with it they will KNOW that they too can make big changes in their life. So for that person, whomever you may be out there reading, you CAN do it. You CAN lose the weight. You CAN get your body to a healthier state. You are stronger and more dedicated than anyone when it comes to YOU. And above all, YOU are totally worth it and YOU deserve it! Good luck!